This week our Friday Five is all about the worst fictional neighbourhoods. Let’s count ourselves lucky that the following isn’t real!
1. Chatsworth Estate
Home to the Gallagher and Maguire families, the seemingly derelict appearance of this council estate is enough to deter house hunters even if the neighbours haven’t made an appearance yet. Chatsworth seems to have seen it all when it comes to criminal and questionable activity.
Theft, gun crime, drugs, alcohol abuse, unplanned teenage pregnancies, brothels and conflicted men of the cloth have all passed through this estate. Now no neighbourhood would be complete without a pub, although you’d probably steer clear of The Jockey. Even looking at it makes you feel the need to bring out the antibacterial hand wipes!
2. Springfield
Possibly the most famous neighbourhood in the world, Springfield is known and loved by millions. But you certainly wouldn’t want to live there! Would you? The Springfield we are focusing on, in particular for this week’s Friday Five, is the Springfield depicted in The Simpsons Movie.
Yes, that’s right, the one that gets enclosed in a glass dome while the innocent (ish) citizens are left to contemplate what looks to be inevitable death, until Homer heroically and comically saves the day.
The dome incident is, of course, entirely Homer’s fault as he was responsible for the catastrophic pollution caused that led to the isolation of the town after he threw a Silo of pig faeces (coupled with his own) into Lake Springfield. Big mistake! Would you ever contemplate living in the same town as Homer Simpson?
3. Albert Square
At first glance the Square looks like a pleasant location to make roots but the neighbours here cause countless problems and drama. Criminal gangs operate in the area, mysterious fires have occurred more than once and the resident death rate is alarmingly high.
Don’t expect your marriage to be plain sailing either if you move here. However, probably the most unappealing feature of Albert Square is never enjoying a quiet drink in the Queen Vic pub which has played host to countless crimes and altercations.
It’s safe to say that the insurance premium for ‘The Queen Vic’ won’t be cheap with the multiple murders, regular fights and occasional break-in’s.
4. Coronation Street
Considering the countless years of competition between Coronation Street and Eastenders, both areas have experienced similar tragedies, crimes and freak accidents. Again it appears quite the cosy neighbourhood with classic British terrace houses and local amenities, but the neighbours here have also brought their fair share of drama.
In short this street has endured a catastrophic tram crash, serial killer Richard Hillman, locals being subjected to varied violent attacks and infidelity amongst neighbours, to name a few. In addition, the Rovers Return pub doesn’t provide much solace from local drama.
5. Wisteria Lane
Yes, it is very surprising that this picturesque American cul-de-sac would make it onto the worst neighbourhood list, but if the shady secrets, crimes and disasters that hit this lane were to be uncovered, buyers would definitely think twice. Wisteria Lane has witnessed a plane crash, a tornado and even a riot.
The death rate here is also quite high, with characters on this lane meeting a variety of shocking ends, both self-inflicted and criminally planned. Despite the idyllic and spacious detached properties, it is hard to look past the tumultuous lives of the desperate housewives on Wisteria Lane.